Might not blog for a day or two…

… Because I bloody did it!!! I finished my assignment ON TIME and now am going to enjoy myself. Oddly most of the tension in my back has gone already, leg’s feeling much better and I can breathe more easily. Anxiety’s not great for HMS it seems!

Anyway, off to eat Pringles, catch up on all the games I’ve been missing, read and sleep.

(And, as promised to Miss Louella, I shall watch a lot of Viggo Mortensen films!)

Nearly there!!!

Deadline’s tomorrow, and anxiety symptoms are slowly creeping up on me. Most of me is in pain, my head hurts, I’ve chewed most of the skin off my bottom lip and bitten my tongue and the inside of my cheeks quite a bit. Nausea level is high, and appetite is low… and mind is no longer working. All I have to do is magic a poster out of nowhere, and then I’m finished with uni. I haven’t applied for any jobs, I haven’t even worked out what grade I’m likely to get… I just want it done!

I WILL finish this project. I will get it in on time, and I WILL pass this course. Despite everything the world has thrown at me, I bloody WILL pass!!!


Then I will sleep for a month and live on cake.

When one door closes…

… another one opens?

Well I’ve got novel new take on it. When one injury subsides a new one crops up!

I am just recovering from to pull tendons in my hip, and spent about two days being able to walk absolutely injury pain-free. (I suppose I should qualify that I had normal fibromyalgia pain and HMS pain, but the injury pain was gone). Then somehow magically, my calf started hurting just below my knee started hurting, and now the middle of the back of my thigh is hurting. Yes, I know, sounds a lot like a hamstring injury right? The only thing is but if I go to the doctors they will probably prescribe more painkillers and probably more rest, and I would also have to walk there. I know I should get it checked out but it’s hard to convince myself to move. If it still hurts tomorrow I will definitely call up for an appointment. Got to be able to walk in heels for a friend’s wedding soon! (My goal, not theirs – it’s not like “you must be this tall to watch us get married.”)


I love my uni!! They’ve given me another week for my dissertation!! They are so damned good with my condition, I just want to scream it from the rooftops. They helped me organise my DSA (which gave me a support worker in labs, dictation software, a new computer, a netbook for lectures, and a load of useful things), gave me the option for a computer and extra time in my exams (which meant I also get my own room to ease the anxiety), and extensions when I need them, without lecturers rolling their eyes at me in frustration. They even found a counselling charity for me when I needed help.

I’ll say it, I love my university. I am proud to be at such a disabled-accessible institution (if we ignore the problems with the old science building being a bit less than wheelchair accessible) and I think I will be eternally grateful for how much this institution has done to form me into the kind of person I am today. 


There weren’t any really mad entries this year – except Romania who had a male glittery vampire singing in front of giant glowing condoms. Even the nearly naked male dancers couldn’t redeem that one. I’m a bit tipsy now so I’m going to fall asleep. 😀

Poetry Pick For The Week

I saw this clip for the first time on Russell Howard’s show in BBC Three, and he’s amazing. I do spend every day thankful for what I have, because I can do a lot – I experience pain because of doing some things, sure – but I can still do those things! Pain’s nothing, it can be overcome. I still have a body that will allow me to do almost anything. That’s pretty amazing, really. There are a lot of people who have the same genetic condition as me that are in a lot worse of a state – and I’m not even that careful about what I do! I do my physio most of the time, and I care for myself, but I’m a bit overweight, I eat crap food, and I don’t exercise enough. As such, I have no reason to complain.